


Zero G and Me, An Adventure in Kama Sutra

by thewronglong



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Remix, Why am I not surprised that's already a tag, Zero-gravity sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 08:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21223406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewronglong/pseuds/thewronglong
Summary: This is a remix of Cazflib's The Logistics of Kama Sutra.





	Zero G and Me, An Adventure in Kama Sutra

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cazflibs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazflibs/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Logistics of Kama Sutra](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14017644) by [cazflibs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazflibs/pseuds/cazflibs). 

> I had so much fun writing this. I hope you have as much fun reading it.

Rimmer grumbled the entire distance to their destination. He was being led, blindfolded, by Lister to who knows where. Finally, they stopped, and he heard a door open in front of him. 

"Can I take this bloody thing off now?"

"Just a mo."

Rimmer was expecting to have the blindfold removed by his lover to reveal roses and silk and chocolates. Lister had implied a night of amazing sex, after all. What he wasn't expecting was a hand on the small of his back and a surprisingly strong shove forward. He stumbled forward and found himself falling… and falling, but not landing. Frantically he ripped the blinder from his face and found himself in Red Dwarf's Zero G Football arena.

Arena was a loose term. It was just a half court, shoved off to the side of the gym. Aside from the grid, hand holds, and sub regulation sized nets it was basically a room without any grav plating.

"What in the smeg hell?" Asked Rimmer. He got his answer when he saw Lister pull a familiar book from a bag that was now floating in front of him. 

"Oh, No you don't, m'laddo, we are NOT trying that again."

"C'mon, Arn, it'll be better in here. It didn't work before because we were fighting gravity."

"Gravity isn't the problem, the problem is the only people who can bend like the pictures in that book are gymnasts with names with more consonants than a Polish phone book."

Lister pushed off the wall gently and drifted over to the hologram. He wrapped his arms and legs around him and brought him into a deep kiss. Eventually he pulled away and asked, "Can't you just give it a go? For me?"

Rimmer frowned but now he looked a bit more fond than annoyed. "I just don't see how the… logistics of it all could work."

"Oh, you don't?" Asked Lister, cocking an eyebrow. He reached down, grabbing the hologram's thigh. With an almost controlled motion he managed to flip himself over, his head now by Rimmer's knees feet up in the air. Well, they would be if there actually was an "up". The only way to tell was the direction of the numbers painted on the padded walls of the court. 

"Point conceded," sighed Rimmer, as he dodged a knee to the face. Lister laughed and used the other body to right himself.

Lister opened the book again, grateful for the detachable Velcro wristband it came with. He held it open, facing his partner. It was near the beginning of the book, and the page had clearly been marked with the remains of a crisp packet. The evidence of such was now floating away. "How bout this? I think we can manage it if we can find traction."

Cocking his head to see the slowly turning image held by the drifting Lister, Rimmer frowned, "if we do that you'll be the one in traction."

….

Several minutes and various bits of floating clothing later the pair were giving their all, with Lister pressed against the wall, held there by a hologram, some handholds, and a good dose of hope. 

"Hold on, almost…" Rimmer grunted, "don't move or I'll... Smeg!"

"Wha?"

"Bloody lube got away!"

"Again?"

"It's lubricant, therefore slippery."

"Now I see why they don't let people with false teeth do this."

"A sensible regulation indeed. I think the KY is outpacing your shorts, It may have just scored a field goal."

"Hold on, I'll go after it," Lister began disengaging a limb from the twist they'd managed to get themselves into. "When I get back we're doing page 23, so study up!"

Rimmer backed away, almost losing an eye to to a floating lock of hair. He gasped when he saw the mentioned page. His cock really seemed to like the idea, but he wasn't sure if either of them could bend like that, even in their prime. 

He didn't notice Lister's return from his chase of the runaway lubricant until it was too late. The scouser had underestimated the power of his kick off of the opposite wall and was approaching at an alarming speed.

….

Rimmer half carried Lister back to the bunk room, the man was limping and had a makeshift ice pack held to his forehead.

"And what did we learn tonight?" Asked the hologram as he helped his lover into the bottom bunk.

Lister grinned, showing a set of bloody teeth, "That reverse cowboy and doggy style are the same in zero gravity?"


End file.
